**The Kremlin, Kim Jong Un, and a Comedy of Terrified Errors**
In a plot twist that even the writers of *Game of Thrones* wouldn’t dare pen, Volodymyr Zelensky—Ukraine’s scriptwriter-turned-president—has accused Moscow of being in cahoots with North Korea. Yes, you read that right: the birthplace of dystopian hairstyles and K-pop dictatorial flair might be helping Russia by supplying soldiers. Kim Jong Un’s troops, we imagine, would be armed with enthusiasm, a flashlight, and perhaps a Tupperware of kimchi—because why not?
Zelensky suggested that Moscow is quaking in their ushanka hats at the thought of Beijing raising an eyebrow at their newfound friendship with Pyongyang. It seems Russia, like every fumbling schoolboy, is wary of upsetting the teacher’s pet. Because heaven forbid Xi Jinping withdraws the privilege of slightly discounted Huawei phones.
So, what is this all about, you ask? Well, in Putin’s latest episode of *Diplomatic Survivor*, the Russian Leader—perennially stuck in Season One—seems to believe that inviting North Korean troops to the party will tip the scales in their favor. Presumably, someone in the Kremlin thought: if we’re going to turn this into a geopolitical circus, why not include the region’s biggest clown act? Because logic, apparently, is taking a hiatus.
But let’s not be too quick to mock. In the theater of international absurdity, there’s something almost poetic about North Korea potentially sending its finest, all armed with dreams, determination, and the fierce power of interpretive dance. It’s like watching a three-legged dog enter the Kentucky Derby—not exactly equipped for the race, but there’s an admirable level of audacity and enthusiasm.
Of course, underpinning all this is Moscow’s fear of losing its designated ‘Chinaman’ protector due to Kim’s unexpected plus-one invitation. It’s a delicate waltz on the world stage, where the partners are trying not to step on each other’s toes, mainly for fear of launching a verbal World War III. Putin’s like the kid who’s borrowed his dad’s lawnmower and is suddenly surprised to find that adding nitrous oxide (North Korea) wasn’t the best move.
Ultimately, the real test will be whether this geopolitical ménage-à-trois results in a groundbreaking international flop or an unforeseen success. Until then, we can only wait with our popcorn, watching Zelensky’s real-life drama unfold—a veritable Shakespearean comedy, served with a side of borscht and a garnish of kimchi.
